10 Things I Hope My Children Learn – No. 8 Try a Little Tenderness.
10 Things I Hope My Children Learn – No. 9 The Poverty of Riches
10 Things I Hope My Children Learn – No. 8 Try a Little Tenderness
Tenderness. Kindness. Gentleness. Rare commodities in such a brutal world. These are delicate flowers that are trampled too easily by the world’s rough elements. I hope my children learn and treasure tenderness, gentleness and kindness. I hope they realize these qualities are ever present and like Shakespeare’s quality of mercy – The quality of mercy is not strained. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes - they are always appreciated by the receiver, and they bless the possessor.
I remember an incident when I had taken one of the little ones to 7-11 for a snack. I was really irritated with her. I don’t remember what she did, but I remember being short with her. I told her to hurry up and get what she wanted, and let’s get out of here. She sensed my displeasure, and quickly ran to get what she wanted. I could tell she was hurt by my shortness. Tough…huh? I was in my doormat martyr mood, and I was giving her the silent treatment. As I waited for her, John Mayer’s song, Daughters, came on the radio. As I listened to the song and watched my little girl run around getting her snacks, my heart softened. I am sure I had to suppress a tear or two. She’s just a little girl who’s been through a lot of crap. I could try a little harder to be a little nicer; even when I had to be firm or had to say no to something, I could do it with some tenderness.
One of the reasons I enjoyed having pets – we had a lot of pets – is that my kids learned to be around creatures that were weaker than them. Just like standing next the ocean teaches you humility, having pets teaches you not only responsibility, but also gentleness and tenderness. You have to be careful and gentle around a baby chick. We live in a world that is reckless, heartless and insensitive to people. I tried to create a little world where they could learn tenderness by holding a newborn puppy or by caring for a terminally-ill dog.
I know they will probably hurt more than others because of this sensitivity, but they will also empathize with other folks who are in pain. I hope that their hearts will remain sensitive and compassionate not only toward the people they meet along their journey, but all of God’s creatures.
About my blog: I am a mom of 10 kids living in Pacifica. The name of my blog, “From the Shoe”, is swiped from Cheaper By The Dozen’s Lillian Gilbreth’s summer newsletter. The “shoe” reference is to the children’s’ nursery rhyme. I mix humor and philosophical musings with everyday events. I hope you like it. From the Shoe artwork by Alec Maloney.
10 Things I Hope My Children Learn – No. 9 The Poverty of Riches
I have been pretty poor most of my adult life. While difficult, poverty, ironically, did yield some precious fruit. I hope my children discover, if they should find themselves in financial straits, the abiding riches of poverty. Victor Hugo wrote, and I quote a lengthy portion of his brilliant prose from Les Miserables:
“Poverty in youth, when it succeeds, is so far magnificent that it turns the whole will towards effort, and the whole soul towards aspiration. Poverty strips the material life entirely bare, and makes it hideous; then arise inexpressible yearnings towards the ideal life. The rich young man has a hundred brilliant and coarse amusements…busying the lower portions of the soul at the expense of its higher and delicate portions. The poor young man must work for his bread; he eats; when he has eaten, he has nothing more but reverie. He goes free to play which God gives; he beholds the sky, space, the stars, the flowers, the children, the humanity in which he suffers, the creation in which he shines. He looks at humanity so much that he sees his soul, he looks at creation so much that he sees God. He dreams, he feels that he is great; he dreams again, and he feels that he is tender. From the egotism of the suffering man, he passes to the compassion of the contemplating man. A wonderful feeling springs up within him, forgetfulness of self, and pity for all. In thinking of the numberless enjoyments which nature offers, gives and gives lavishly to open souls, and refuses to closed souls, he, a millionaire of intelligence, comes to grieve for the millionaires of money. All hatred goes out of his heart in proportion as all light enters his mind. And then is he unhappy? No. The misery of the young man is never miserable…He is firm, serene, gentle, peaceful, attentive, serious, content with little, benevolent; and he blesses God for having given him these two estates which many of the rich are without; labour which makes him free, and thought which makes him noble.”
There is nothing to add to Mr. Hugo’s quote. I hope my children, when they experience their lean years, will harvest these riches of poverty.
About my blog: I am a mom of 10 kids living in Pacifica. The name of my blog, “From the Shoe”, is swiped from Cheaper By The Dozen’s Lillian Gilbreth’s summer newsletter. The “shoe” reference is to the children’s’ nursery rhyme. I mix humor and philosophical musings with everyday events. I hope you like it. From the Shoe artwork by Alec Maloney.
10 Things I Hope My Children Learn: #10 – Love to Learn
10 Things I Hope My Children Learn: #10 – Love to Learn
There are many things I hope my children learn. I have found that the most important things I have learned in my life are the ones I have learned later. By compiling this list, I hope to give them a heads up in what I think is very important and meaningful.
My first thing, No. 10 on the list, I hope my children learn is to love learning. That may negate my entire list because if they love learning, they will inevitably learn not only the 10 things I want them to learn, but much more.
Learning can be acquired in many ways. Of course, the main place of learning is school. I hope that my children take advantage of all the education they can get. Even the classes they hate, the ones that they think are useless can add to their character. They may not like Algebra or Geography (I don’t know why) but that they are somewhat knowledgeable about these subjects will contribute to the richness of their character and in a small way enrich their lives.
There is another way in which learning can be achieved. I remember watching my kids play, and felt that what is essential to education, to learning, was being developed in their play. When they played, they were inventive, creative, curious and enthusiastic, all qualities they need to acquire a life long love of learning. They never tired of fort-building, clothes-making, hole-digging and tree-climbing. All these activities ignited their thirsty imaginations which when an imagination is activated, there is no limit to what one can learn.
Finally, learning can take place in painful circumstances. I hope my children have learned through the painful relationships that exist in their lives. Unfortunately, people will let them down. I will let them down. T.H. White wrote in The Once and Future King:
“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlin, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something. That’s the only thing that never fails….Learn why the world wags and what wags it. That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting. Learning is the only thing for you. Look what a lot of things there are to learn.”
I hope in every circumstance they find themselves in, whether in their educational pursuits, their play and even in their pain, they will not only continue to learn, but grow and mature and understand “why the world wags and what wags it.”
